Close Encounters of the Chibi Kind
by Northstar
Summary: What happens when Duo and Heero find wild chibis living in their backyard! Chibi-Relena bashing! Muwahahaha!!


Authors Notes: (black crowe speaking) Northstar and I  
decided to write a cute Chibi story filled with Relena  
bashing of course. Duo chibi's name is for all the  
families and survivors in New York, Washington D.C.  
and Pennsylvania after the horrible terrorist attack.  
This is America dammit, and we will hunt down whoever  
was behind the attack and kick their ass!   
  
Rating: PG, For cussing  
  
Heero sat typing at his laptop as usual, plotting to  
destroy things and  
what not. On the other hand, his partner Duo Maxwell,  
who had become  
hypnotised by the monotonous tapping sound the keys  
made as Heero's  
fingertips danced across them, sat on a stool with his  
chin resting on   
one hand.  
  
"This is too boring Heero!" he whined. "Let's go  
outside and do   
something! Come on, you remember...outside...where  
that big yellow thing is, the  
sun!" he pleaded.  
  
Heero just shrugged and ignored him. Duo let out a  
long dramatic sigh   
and stood up. He shuffled over to the sliding glass  
door. Their latest safe  
house had a remarkable view. The backyard was lush  
with green foliage   
and beautiful flowers. Duo pressed his face up against  
the glass and peered  
out.  
  
Something that seemed to be buzzing about caught his  
attention. He   
smiled and raced over to where Heero sat. Grabbing the  
stoic pilot by the   
wrist, he hauled him over to the window.  
  
Heero let out a surprised grunt.  
  
"Hn! What are you doing Maxwell!?" he demanded.  
  
"Look Heero! LOOK!!" he squealed pointing to the  
backyard. "We have   
wild chibis in our backyard!!"  
  
"So?" Heero retorted, "What do you want me to do, get  
a fly swatter?"  
  
"No Heero! You don't kill chibis!" Duo explained,"You  
catch them and   
make them pets."  
  
Heero rolled his eyes and looked at the braided pilot  
in disgust.  
  
"You don't have time for a pet!" he sneered.  
  
"But Heeeerrrrooooo!" Duo whined, sounding  
disturbingly enough like a  
certain annoying princess. "I want a chibi! Let's  
catch a chibi! Pllleeeaaassseeee!!!"  
  
Heero couldn't take the whining anymore and finally  
gave in.  
  
"If it'll shut you up, then we'll catch a chibi." he  
sighed, at least   
if Duo had something to occupy himself with, then  
maybe he wouldn't be so  
annoying, Heero thought.  
  
Duo barrelled down the hall and threw open the door to  
the hall closet.   
He started chucking things right and left. Heero  
walked up behind him and  
narrowly missed being hit in the head with a flying  
book.  
  
"Where is it!?!?" Duo screeched. "Ahhh!" he exclaimed,  
obviously   
finding  
what it was he had been searching for.  
  
"My chibi catching net!" he grinned, holding up a  
little butterfly net.  
  
Heero just gave him a puzzled look, then picked up the  
book that had  
whizzed by his head earlier.  
  
A Guide To The Many Wonderful Varieties of Chibi, he  
read.  
  
"Oooh, that'll help us catch the best kinds!" Duo said  
examining the   
book.  
"We don't want any old kind of chibi." he smirked.  
  
Well, maybe this wouldn't be so bad, Heero thought,  
he'd just let Duo   
go about his business of chibi catching, and he would  
sit back and quietly  
read the book...or so he thought.  
  
Duo stormed back to the sliding glass door and  
silently opened it. He looked left, then right, and  
waved Heero to come along.  
  
Heero sighed. Duo was acting as if they were  
infiltrating some secret OZ base, and then he  
shrugged. If this would make Duo happy and not to  
mention occupied, then he would go along with it.  
  
Both pilots moved a long the wall of the house in  
stealth mode, and Duo spotted the little chibi he had  
seen earlier land in the grass by a tree. That was the  
perfect opportunity, and Duo took it!  
  
He ran towards the chibi with all his speed and tossed  
the net over it. The poor chibi had only the chance to  
look up in fright at the braided giant who was  
thundering towards him.  
  
Duo triumphantly raised his fist in the air and picked  
up the net. He examined the snarling chibi and could  
have sworn he heard the chibi growling out obsenities.  
Duo's eyes bugged out and he shrieked. That shut up  
the chibi.  
  
"HEERO! IT LOOKS LIKE YOU!" Duo exclaimed, and Heero  
took a close look at the chibi. Heero gasped. It did  
look just like him!  
  
"Get the book! What does it say?!" Duo asked, and  
Heero flipped through the pages.  
  
"It's a 'Heero Chibi'," Heero said, confirming what  
Duo had said.   
  
"Does it have any friends?" Duo cooed, as he tried to  
pet the chibi.   
  
"OW! Damn thing stabbed me!" Duo said, waving his hand  
back and forth. Heero smirked.   
  
"It seems that we both hate braided bakas!" Heero  
replied with a chuckle, and Duo just glared.  
  
"It says here," Heero said, changing the subject,  
"That Heero chibis like..."  
  
"What Heero? What do they like?!" Duo asked.  
  
"They like Duo chibis!" Heero said, his face showing  
disbelief.   
  
"Duo chibis!" Heero exclaimed. "What the hell is a Duo  
chibi!?" he said  
flipping through the book. "It better not be what I  
think it is!" he  
growled.  
  
Sure enough, as he flipped to the page containing info  
on the Duo   
chibi, there in bold color was a picture of the little  
pest with a braid.  
  
"Aww! It's so cute!" Duo squealed. "I want one of  
those! You can have   
this poopy one!" he smirked, holding the captured  
Heero chibi underneath  
Heero's nose.  
  
The spiky haired pilot backed away instantaneously as  
the small   
creature waved a mini light saber at him.  
  
"I don't want that! This was your idea, you keep it!"  
he snarled.  
  
"Well, I'll look after this one and you can catch me a  
Duo chibi!" Duo said firmly.  
  
"Fine!" Heero grunted, ripping the small butterfly net  
from Duo's hand, anything to get away from that baka,  
he thought.  
  
Heero slowly crept into the bushes. He heard the  
faintest sound of  
laughter and glanced over his shoulder expecting Duo  
to be giggling at  
him. To his surprise, Duo was too busy battling with  
the Heero chibi, who had gotten ahold of his braid  
and was wrapping it around his head.  
  
"Baka." Heero muttered under his breath, then stopped  
suddenly when he  
heard the laughter again. He looked up to see a tiny  
little braid   
dangling in his face.  
  
The little Duo chibi was seated on a flower petal and  
was laughing it's  
little head off at the antics it's beloved Heero chibi  
was pulling on   
the giant braided beast.  
  
"Now I have you." Heero whispered, closing in for the  
kill. He brought   
the net down over the flower, and smiled triumphantly.  
  
However, his victory was short-lived when he realized  
that the Duo   
chibi had escaped him. He pulled the net off the  
flower and gasped as a bee  
angrily buzzed out of it. Heero tried to dodge the  
little bugger as   
best he could. He turned around to evade it, but ended  
up face down in the   
mud when he tripped over the garden hose.  
  
Heero groaned and sat back up, wiping the mud from his  
face.  
  
"Ouch!!!" he yelped, clutching at his nose. Tears of  
pain began to form   
in his eyes and he blinked them back.  
  
"That son-of-a-bitch stung me!!" he cried with much  
animosity. He   
tilted his head upwards to see the Duo chibi hovering  
over him, laughing like   
a hyena.  
  
"That's it ya little shit! Come here!!" he cried as he  
lunged at the winged mini likeness of Duo.  
  
After five unsuccessful attempts, Heero stalked back  
over to where Duo   
and the Heero chibi were.  
  
"What happened to you?" Duo asked, taking in Heero's  
haggard   
appearance. He was almost completely caked with mud  
and had a large welt on his   
nose. He had also acquired quite a few scrapes, when  
his last attempt at  
catching the Duo chibi landed him the rose bushes.  
  
"Gimme that thing!" he said, snatching the Heero chibi  
out of the air.  
  
"What are you going to do with him?" Duo asked, a  
worried expression on  
his face.  
  
"Oh, don't worry about your precious Heero chibi!" the  
zero pilot spat.  
"Read the book!" he sneered as he threw it at Duo's  
head.  
  
It smacked the braided pilot in the face and he caught  
it before it   
fell to the ground.  
  
"Duo chibis like Heero chibis." Duo read. "Oh!" he  
exclaimed, now realizing the plan.  
  
Heero raised the little Heero chibi into the air and  
began swinging it  
around like it was a dog treat.  
  
"Here ya little bastard! Come and get it!"  
  
The poor little Heero chibi was getting rather dizzy  
and let out a   
small yelp.  
  
[1] The Duo chibi's ears pricked up and his head  
cocked in the direction of  
the plea for help. From out of the bushes popped many  
Duo chibi heads.   
All facing the giant wearing a green tank top, who had  
captured their   
beloved Heero chibi.  
  
Heero's eyes widened in fear. He didn't know that the  
Heero chibi he held was big pimpin'! The little Heero  
chibi assumed Heero thought that, and he crossed his  
arms angrily.  
  
Duo watched from behind as a lone Duo chibi made it's  
way towards Heero, and he realized that the Heero  
chibi was a one chibi kind of guy. Heero quickly  
snatched the Duo chibi and Duo cheered with glee.  
  
"You caught them Heero! Excellent!" Duo said, and  
snatched the Duo chibi from Heero.  
  
"It's soo cute! And it looks just like me!" Duo cooed.  
The little Duo chibi chuckled and rubbed his face  
against Duo's. Heero looked at the Heero chibi and  
they both sighed with defeat.  
  
*Hours later after Chibi shopping*  
  
"Ok, checklist time!" Duo said with a grin. Heero sat  
on one of the sofas in their safe house with Duo and  
Heero chibi in tow.   
  
"'Your Very Own Duo Chibi Guide'?" Duo asked.  
  
"Check." Heero replied.  
  
"'Your Very Own Heero Chibi Guide'?"  
  
"Check."  
  
"Chibi nest?"  
  
"Check." Heero said, now getting irritated. "Duo we  
did this twice! We have everything!" Heero promised,  
and Duo smiled.  
  
"I hope we have everything." Duo replied, and he and  
Heero watched as Heero and Duo chibi explored their  
new little makeshift home they had bought for them.  
  
The Heero chibi appeared again out of the home and  
stood guard with his mini light saber and grunted with  
satisfaction.   
  
Suddenly, a very obnoxious and squeaky voice was heard  
coming from outside, and the Heero chibi suddenly  
bristled. A frightened squeak was heard from Duo  
chibi, which caused Heero and Duo to see what had made  
them upset.  
  
"Oh God no!" Heero exclaimed, as he saw a little  
Relena chibi buzzing around outside of the sliding  
glass window.  
  
"Calm down Heero!" Duo said raising his hands in the  
air and shaking   
them. "I know what it looks like, but let me get the  
book!"  
  
"What it looks like!? That horrible face! We need to  
kill this thing,   
and do it now!" Heero said going into hysterics. "It  
could be breeding for   
all we know!"  
  
Duo ran over to the coffee table and grabbed the chibi  
guide,   
frantically flipping through the pages.  
  
"That 'thing' has Relena's face!!" Heero pointed out a  
second time.  
"What's taking you so long Maxwell, those things could  
be multiplying!!"  
Heero fumed.  
  
Duo rushed back over to Heero, first stopping to check  
on his little  
chibis, who were now huddled in a corner and  
trembling.  
  
"It says here, that it's a Relena chibi." Duo stated,  
matter-of-factly.  
  
"No shit! I could figure that out!" Heero replied  
frantically. "How do   
we kill it!?!?"  
  
Duo continued to read on. "Relena chibis love Heero  
chibis and will   
stop at nothing to mate with them."  
  
"Eee!" Heero gasped and swept the little Heero chibi  
up in his arms,  
cradling it as if it could break at the slightest  
touch.  
  
"That thing ain't coming near my chibi!" Heero  
shouted.  
  
"Relena chibis are considered the parasite of the  
species, because they  
serve no other purpose but to annoy the other chibis  
around them." Duo  
continued to read aloud. "An anti-chibi Relena spray  
has been created   
to aid in all your Relena-chibi related  
exterminations."  
  
"What's it called? And where can we get 500 gallons of  
the stuff!?"   
Heero ranted melodramatically.  
  
"We have to write the company and send away for some.  
It's too potent   
to sell at the store." Duo explained.  
  
After a few moments, the Duo chibi emerged from the  
little make-shift  
home. The Heero chibi had been gone far too long and  
he feared   
treachery was afoot. He buzzed over to where Heero was  
holding him and gave him   
the "where have you been" look. The Heero chibi  
silently cursed and pointed   
up to the larger, wingless version of himself.  
  
The Duo chibi buzzed over in front of Heero's face and  
folded his arms,  
tapping his foot in the air.  
  
"Oh, sorry." he said, handing the Heero chibi over.  
  
"I don't have time to wait for some stupid company to  
send me pest  
repellant!" Heero announced as he raced over to the  
area under the sink  
and produced a can of Raid. He smiled at Duo  
menacingly and ran to the  
sliding glass door with it.  
  
Duo opened his mouth to say something, but decided  
that he wouldn't   
piss Heero off anymore than he already was.  
  
Heero grinned evilly at the Relena chibi.  
  
"See this?" he said to the chibi. "This is for you!"  
  
The Relena chibi only gave him a defiant look and  
stuck out her tongue   
at him.  
  
"Oh yeah!?" Heero challenged and threw open the  
sliding glass the door. The Relena chibi was taken by  
surprise at the lightning quick movements of the wing  
pilot, and suddenly found herself dripping with Raid.  
  
"Ha!" Heero yelled in triumph, watching the little  
Relena chibi flutter to the ground. She lay there  
coughing and Duo raced outside to assess the  
situation.  
  
"Wow, Relena chibi is ugly!" Duo commented. Unlike  
Heero chibi or Duo chibi, Relena had the wings of a  
fly and was dressed in a little pink dress.  
  
Relena chibi continued to lay on the concrete in a  
puddle of Raid, and Heero and Duo chibi flew out to  
take a look for themselves.  
  
At the sight of Heero chibi, Relena chibi perked up  
and tried to advance toward him. Heero chibi bristled  
and started swinging his mini light saber at her.  
Relena chibi just scoffed.  
  
"Did you see that?!" Heero asked. "It's just like me  
and Relena!"  
  
"Yeah...pretty scary." Duo commented, and watched as  
tons of other Duo chibis came to Heero chibi's aid.  
  
"I thought for sure she'd be dead by now?" Heero  
stared at the little  
parasite, floundering in the puddle of Raid.  
  
"Well...we can't just leave her there." Duo said  
running back into the  
house.  
  
All the little Duo-chibis peered at the Relena chibi  
in wonder. They   
had never seen such anger present in a chibi's eyes.  
For chibis were   
naturally cheerful, spirited creatures...of course,  
Heero chibi was the   
exception. He was free to act according to his own  
will.  
  
All the little chibis gasped as the Relena chibi began  
to crawl   
forward. Heero stomped his foot down between her and  
his and Duo's new found   
pets. She glared up at him, letting a loud grunt  
escape her lips.  
  
"Heero?" she questioned, little cartoon hearts  
appearing in place of   
her eyes. Heero looked down at the insect-like chibi.  
  
"What?" he said in both shock and amazement. All that  
stood between the  
Relena chibi and the Duo and Heero chibis, was Heero's  
large, yellow  
sneaker. The Duo chibi, who had always been the  
daring, adventurous   
type, climbed up one of the shoelaces and peered over  
the edge to see the   
Relena chibi going into attack mode.  
  
Now this was a very different attack mode than a  
normal chibi. But then  
again, the Relena chibi was not exactly normal. Duo  
chibi watched in   
fear as she rubbed her small hands in anticipation,  
just as flies do when   
they are sitting in one place for too long. Her little  
wings began to  
intermittently buzz every few seconds and an evil  
cackle came from her  
mouth.  
  
"Heero!" she peeped, before flying up into the 01  
pilot's face.  
  
"What the Hell?!" he cried, swatting at the pesky pink  
chibi.  
  
"Heero, Heeeeeeeerrroooooo" she squealed in her little  
chibi voice.  
  
Duo came barreling out of the house, a fly swatter in  
hand.  
"What's going on!?" he said in bewilderment. "Why is  
that chibi looking   
at you like that?"  
  
Meanwhile, the Heero chibi flew up in front of the  
larger-sized Heero   
to protect his master.  
  
The Relena chibi saw him and knocked him out of the  
sky with one   
kamikaze manuever. So long as it had a Heero likeness,  
she didn't care whether   
it was chibi or human. He landed in a heap with the  
Relena chibi on top of  
him.  
  
"Get the hose!" Duo shrieked.  
  
"They aren't dogs!" Heero retorted.  
  
This is when the Duo chibi decided to intervene.  
Nobody could mess with  
his chibi and get away with it. He grabbed the Relena  
chibi by her   
little braids and hauled her off of the stunned Heero  
chibi.  
  
"Yeah!" Duo praised, "Kick her ass!" he cheered.  
  
The Duo chibi swung her around by her braids and once  
he had built up  
enough momentum, released and sent her spiraling over  
the fence and   
into the street. Then he proudly strutted back to his  
mate, linked arms with  
him, and hauled him off into some nearby bushes. Duo  
went to go see   
where they were going, but Heero held his hand up in  
front of the braided   
pilot.  
  
"Let them be. They're you know..." he said raising his  
eyebrows.  
  
"Oh." Duo sighed. "Ooooohhhhhh!" he grinned evilly,  
finally realizing   
what Heero had meant.  
  
Heero smirked, and he and Duo decided to leave Heero  
and Duo chibi alone to finish their uh, matter at  
hand.  
  
Meanwhile, Relena chibi found herself lying in a  
gutter on the other side of the fence. [2]She was just  
about to get up and avenge the lack of her honor when  
tons of little Duo chibi faces appeared over the side  
of the fence.  
  
Relena chibi only had the chance to acknowledge their  
presence when she was suddenly attacked by all the  
nearby Duo chibis.   
  
Finally satisified with their work, which included  
binding her wings and hands together with her hair,  
they pushed her down the gutter. She moved a long with  
the flow of the sewer water and that was the last  
sight of her. Or was it?  
  
"Heero, we really do need to name our little chibis."  
Duo commented when he spotted Heero chibi fiercely  
hauling his Duo chibi to another nearby bush.  
  
"Looks like another round huh?" Heero said with a  
chuckle. Duo sighed and put on the radio, and a  
familiar Micheal Jackson song began to play.  
  
Hearing the lively beat and the sound of 'Don't stop  
'till you get enough, Jam on!', Heero chibi and Duo  
chibi emerged from the bush and tapped at the sliding  
glass door.  
  
Duo ran over to the sliding glass door and admitted  
the two chibis into  
the house. Heero watched as the two chibis hovered  
near the radio,  
intrigued by the music spewing forth from it.  
  
Duo flopped down next to Heero on the couch.  
  
"Hmmmmm...names," he pondered as he rested his chin on  
his hand.  
  
Heero watched the chibis as they landed on the coffee  
table and began   
to prance around. He let out a slight giggle when the  
Duo chibi attempted   
to moonwalk, but tripped over his braid and fell smack  
on his butt. The   
Heero chibi merely grunted and shoved the Duo chibi to  
the side, giving him a  
"this is how it's done" look.  
  
Heero watched with delight as the Heero chibi whipped  
out his mini beam  
sword and twirled it around on his fingertip before  
stopping suddenly   
and placing his free hand over his head, then slid  
backwards on the balls   
of his feet. A perfect moonwalk.  
  
"Hey!" Heero said, smacking Duo on the shoulder.  
"Look! Behold my   
chibi's talent!" he stated proudly folding his arms.  
  
"How kawaii!!" Duo grinned, his face lit up when the  
little chibi began   
to utter one particular word from the song.  
  
"Jamon, Jamon!" he peeped.  
  
"Listen Heero, he's saying Jam on!" Duo clapped with  
joy. "That must be  
his name!"  
  
"Please!" Heero said rolling his eyes.  
  
The Duo chibi watched his mate rock out to the song,  
he was thoroughly  
amused.  
  
"Is that your name, little Jamon?" Duo said in a voice  
one would only   
use to talk to babies or cute animals.  
  
"Jamon!" the Heero chibi repeated.  
  
"It's settled then!" Duo cried, holding up one finger.  
"His name will   
be Jamon!"  
  
"I suppose." Heero grunted.  
  
"Now help me think of a name for my little chibi!" He  
pleaded, shaking  
Heero's arm with both hands. "Come on!" he whined.  
  
"Fine!" Heero spat, glancing at little Jamon out of  
the corner of his   
eye, he was damn proud of that chibi.  
  
Heero continued to watch Jamon with kind of pride that  
only a father would have for his son. Jamon continued  
to dance around, and Duo chibi clapped with glee.  
  
Duo drummed his fingers on the table, trying to come  
up with a good name for his Duo Chibi. Heero wasn't  
helping one bit.  
  
At that moment, Trowa and Quatre came to the  
safehouse, and Quatre let out a loud squeal of delight  
at the sight of Jamon and Duo Chibi.  
  
"Have you named them yet? What are their names? Where  
did you find them? How did you catch them? Are they  
dancing? How kawaii!" Quatre said all in one breath.  
  
Duo, momentarily dizzy from all the questions, had to  
take a minute to sort everything out.  
  
"The only thing that is important right now Quatre, is  
what to name my Duo chibi!" Duo replied, and Quatre's  
face lit up.  
  
"I can help! How about Tulip? Or Daisy?" Quatre  
offered.  
  
Duo rolled his eyes. "Look Quatre, Duo chibi is a boy!  
Not a girl!" Duo scoffed, and Heero burst out  
laughing.  
  
"Well, how about Ebola? You do have that obsession  
about killing Relena with the stuff." Trowa offered,  
and Duo frowned.  
  
"But Duo chibi isnt supposed to be a potent virus that  
kills people in a matter of days! He's too cute for a  
name like that!" Duo cooed, and the Duo chibi chirped  
back.  
  
Duo squealed. "Did you hear that?! He talked to me! He  
talked to me!" Duo gushed, and he gathered the Duo  
chibi in his arms and cuddled with him.  
  
"I think I will name him Banner. He's American like me  
right? My little Banner will be named for the American  
Flag, and the great country in which I came from." Duo  
proclaimed, and he stood up, raising his fist in  
triumph.   
  
Banner raised his little fist too, and chirped again.  
  
Heero smiled, as did Trowa and Quatre. Who knew what  
weird adventures would come next with Jamon and  
Banner.  
  
-Northstar and Black Crowe  
  
[1] On Jurassic Park 3, one of the raptors called for  
help, and it was heard for miles on end. And all the  
other raptors cocked their heads to listen, then they  
came running to help the other raptor! lmao! The Duo  
Chibis do the same!  
  
[2] As seen in Jurassic Park 2: The Lost World, the  
Compys are seen stalking the guy down in the river.  
The Duo chibis did the same, and attacked the Relena  
chibi and sent her down the gutter! haha!  



End file.
